Out Of Sight, In My Heart
by Cookie
Summary: Since Darien's death, Serena has completely changed. She's constantly writing, and rarely ever spends time with the scouts anymore. And she NEVER transforms... so what happens when the scouts get in trouble, and she's the only one who can save them? Will


Ah well, I better warn you… this fic starts off with Darien dead. Don't get me wrong, I like Darien a lot, but I wrote this when I was depressed, and I still think it makes a fairly nice story line. It does have a happy ending, though, so rejoice! ;) Anyhow, please review after you've finished reading, and if you're going to criticize, please try to make it constructive. Thanks! 

My name is Serena Tsukino. I'm 14-years-old, in junior high, and am the former champion of love and justice, Sailor Moon. I have many wonderful, wonderful friends whom I love very much… in fact, I've known them for two life times now, possibly more that I don't remember. As for my love life… I don't have one. I used to… not so long ago. But he's gone now. Because of me, if you want to be exact. He was coming to meet me for a date, I suppose he wasn't paying attention to the fact that the little sign was blinking "no walking". I was there with him at the end. I watched him depart this world, and you can guarantee I was there every day that he was in the hospital. His name was Darien Shields, and he was so handsome… he had these eyes that could just make you melt, and of course there was his famous grin... I turned to putty every time he used it on me. And let me tell you, he used it quite often. 

Serena set down her pen and sat back in her swivel chair, biting her lip as painful memories engulfed her in a tidal wave of emotions and depression. It really hadn't been that long ago that Darien had… in fact, only three months. She still hadn't gotten over it. Since then there had been barely any attacks from the nega-verse, and whenever there was she didn't even dare transform. The thought of that familiar cape and top hat not appearing when she was trapped was more than she could handle, now and possibly ever.

She took a deep breath and picked the pen up again, jotting down all her emotions, thoughts and feelings for the hundredth time in a messy scrawl. The words flew from her brain to her hand, from the pen to the paper. Teardrops were already stained on it in various places, and many words that she had decided against had been scratched out. The paper was crumpled from being stuffed into small areas and several of the pages before hand had been ripped and torn.

The small black phone sitting next to her began to ring, but she paid it no heed – after all, if she didn't get it, her parents would. And she couldn't possibly be torn away from her writing, not now… not ever. All she wanted to do was write. That was all she needed, just her, the pen and the paper in her little room. She would never need to leave, she had everything she needed right there with her. If she should die from lack of food and water, then at least she wouldn't have to suffer the over-bearing pain anymore. 

"Serena, darling, it's for you. It's Rei." Came her mother's muffled voice from downstairs. Snapping out of her trance, Serena shook her head to rid all the thoughts from it. Rei was the one person who understood what she was going through – maybe talking to her wouldn't be so bad after all. Sighing in defeat she picked the phone up from its cradle and placed it cautiously against her ear.

"Hello?" She asked. 

"Hey Serena, it's me." Came Rei's soft voice from the other line. Ever since Darien had died, Rei hadn't been so hard on Serena… in fact, none of the scouts had, which was one of the reasons she rarely spent time with them anymore. They all treated her with so much caution, like she was a fragile thing that could break easily if they said one wrong word – they almost seemed like they were afraid of her. Though Rei _was _nicer, she still didn't act quite like the others. She was the only one Serena would talk to at times… and now was one of those times. Sighing, she responded.

"Hello Rei." 

"I just wanted to call and see how you're doing." Silence. "Are you writing again?" Rei was also the only person who knew that Serena wrote when she was depressed, though she had never actually seen one of Serena's works. In fact, no one had, and as far as Serena was concerned, no one ever would.

"Yeah." Serena replied.

"Oh." There was silence again. So many times when she was with her friends the silence was always so awkward and tense – everyone but Rei would eye her like she was some time bomb, about to explode in a wave of tears. Serena had yet to cry in front of any of them – except for Rei. As far as most of them knew she was completely dismissing his death… either that or trying to forget about it by pretending it had never happened. Oh, how wrong they were.

"What are you up to?" Serena inquired, breaking the silence.

"Oh… well other than talking to you, I just finished up with my chores. Chad was being really sweet…" Serena's breath caught in her throat and Rei's eyes went wide at her mistake of mentioning love. "Oh God Serena I'm so sorry, I wasn't even thinking." 

"It's ok, I know you didn't mean to." In the background, Serena could hear something that sounded like Rei's grandfather yelling at her to get off the phone, and if it weren't for the circumstances she may have smiled at the voice of the 3-foot 70-year-old man. 

"One second Serena." Rei said, sounding exasperated. She could tell that her friend was putting her hand over the mouth of the phone, excluding her from the conversation. After a few seconds Rei came back again, sounding apologetic. "I'm sorry, Serena, but I've got to go. Grandpa says he needs to call some girl he's got a date with or something. See ya!"

"Bye." Serena replied, putting the phone back in its cradle immediately to end any awkward I'm-waiting-for-you-to-hang-up-first-but-since-you're-not-I'll-just-say-bye-again sessions. Immediately she picked her pen up and began writing. That was all she did. 

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours. Her mother would occasionally call up to her, begging her to eat dinner, but she kept refusing. No time to eat, no time to sleep... she had to write, she had to get it all down. She was desperate; she had to finish… 

A sudden beeping sound came from inside one of the drawers of her desk. She sat up straight at the familiar sound – her communicator. There was an attack. But why were they calling her? They already knew she refused to transform. And even if she did, what good was she anyway? She would just break down crying in the middle of the fight, and probably end up getting the rest of the scouts killed… She contemplated for a moment whether or not she should answer the call. Something, though she wasn't sure what, made her pick it up. 

Sailor Jupiter's face came onto the screen, looking panic-stricken. A few stray tears were flowing freely from her eyes, and in the background she could see the motionless bodies of Venus and Mercury. 

"Sailor Moon! Please, we need your help! We can't get this monster down at the park by ourselves… Mina and Amy are knocked out, Rei's almost…" From behind Sailor Jupiter, a tentacle came rushing toward her. Serena attempted to scream out to her, but it was already too late. She heard her friend struggling, shouting out various attacks as the communicator fell from her hand, landing face down in the grass. 

Her friends needed her. But she couldn't transform. She _couldn't, _not after what happened. If one of them died, it would be her fault, just like it was with Darien. If she just stayed out of it, they may die, but it wouldn't be because of her… or wouldn't it? 

"Serena…" Came Luna's voice from behind her. She turned to face her small cat, who was sitting on her bed staring at her with sad eyes. "They _need _you." 

~

As Sailor Mars's body fell to the ground near those of Mercury and Venus, Jupiter realized that she was now completely alone in this fight. It didn't seem as those Serena was coming. The fate of her friends rested wholly on her shoulders. If she failed, they were all as good as dead. And with Serena not transforming, there wouldn't be any Sailor Scouts to protect the world. 

Another tentacle shot toward her, and she jumped out of the way, narrowly missing it's razor sharp edges. 

"Jupiter thunder dragon!" She yelled. The dragon made completely from lightening sprouted from her hands, lunging at the beast standing before her. There was a bright flash of light, and when the dragon disappeared, Sailor Jupiter looked to see that the droid wasn't even phased. And it was one of her most powerful attacks! 

Still weak from the powerful attack, Sailor Jupiter knew she wouldn't be able to attack again for a few minutes until she regained her energy. Which wasn't good, seeing as how she was now the only one fighting.

The monster's attention suddenly drifted from her and to the bodies of Venus, Mercury and Mars. It looked as though it was deciding to finish its job of killing them right then and there. As one of its tentacles headed for Venus's throat, she panicked. Immediately she was in front of Venus's body, the tentacle, instead of being around Venus's throat, was around hers. It didn't seem to mind though, and appeared to be taking great pleasure in choking her. Her vision began to swim in and out of focus as she desperately tried to take in a breath and keep her consciousness. She couldn't faint, she had to hold on… but she couldn't…

"Hold it right there!" The monster's grip on her neck loosened as its focus suddenly turned away from her. Sailor Jupiter was near unconsciousness, and wasn't able to think very well – let alone fight. At that moment, she was sure an angel had just saved her. Who was it standing in that tree that was distracting the monster? "You have no right to do this to my friends." The person continued, in a voice that sounded strangely familiar, yet different somehow. The figure leaped from the tree, landing gracefully on her feet and glaring at the monster.

With her last breath of consciousness, Sailor Jupiter gasped, "Sailor Moon?" Sailor Moon turned to look on her friend, smiling. Sailor Jupiter looked amazed, then fainted from lack of oxygen… leaving Sailor Moon all alone. 

Sailor Moon wanted to yell out "No, don't leave me, I can't do this alone!" But she stopped herself from doing so. She was barely able to remember how to attack, and while trying to remember how to do so, the monster caught her off guard. One of it's many tentacles shot out, wrapping around her waist and slamming her into the tree she had just jumped from, making Sailor Moon cry out in pain as her head hit the rough trunk.

It continued to squeeze around her waist, trying to crush her to death like it had nearly done with Jupiter's throat. Sailor Moon felt completely helpless; she didn't know what to do. She almost expected a red rose to come flying through the air, freeing her from the monster's grasp. The realization that no rose would come made her break down suddenly in uncontrollable sobs, just as she thought she would – and of course, this wasn't good for the situation. She didn't know what to do now that she was alone. No Darien, no Mars, Mercury, Venus or Jupiter... she had to do something…

And then her hands remembered something that her head didn't. Her hands took the tiara off and threw it at the monster's head. The monster screamed and let go of Sailor Moon, jumping out of the way of the flying Frisbee. It came back and landed in Sailor Moon's hand, and suddenly she began to remember. 

That moon rod…

Looking at the bodies of her friends, more memories came flooding back.

Those flashes of lightening and fire…

Yes, she remembered it all now. She knew what she had to do. And she wasn't alone. She may not be able to see him, but Darien was there.

That red rose…

"Moon, princess, elimination!" She screamed, watching the pink light fly out of her moon rod, blowing the monster into a thousand of miniscule pieces that floated toward the ground, most however, not reaching it and being blown away in the wind. She let her arm fall loosely to her side, and the moon rod disappeared out of it. She had done it. She had transformed, and she had won. 

A hand on her shoulder made her suddenly spin around to see Sailor Venus. She was smiling warmly at her, and from behind her she could see the other scouts beginning to wake up as well. 

"Sailor Moon… Serena…" She began, and Serena noticed that tears were beginning to well up in the corners of her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something else, but instead fell, sobbing into Sailor Moon's open arms. Mercury and Jupiter came soon after this, enveloping her in a hug as well. Mars watched from the side, waiting her turn smiling. And she thought she was alone…

Somehow, Serena knew that now things were going to be different. Somehow she knew things were going to be ok. Everything was going to work out. She knew somehow that they weren't going to be so careful around her, that they would treat her like the girl she really was deep inside. And somehow she knew that she wouldn't be depressed as much, because, after all, Darien wasn't really gone. She just couldn't see him. But he was there. Of that she was certain. 


End file.
